Working whilst pregnant

My thoughts on working for yourself versus working for an employer whilst pregnant

I’m the first to admit that I am no expert on flexible working. Let’s call it a work in progress. Now I’ve started to document my flexi-work lifestyle adventures, I’m becoming increasingly more excited to revisit these posts in years to come to see how far I’ve come and what I’ve learnt along the way!

I have now had two pregnancies whilst working for an employer and one whilst working for myself at home. It’s been a huge learning curve for me but one I have zero regrets over. The biggest challenge? Starting a business (which is all encompassing on mind and energy) whilst juggling two small children AND dealing with pregnancy hormones!

It’s no surprise that many women venture into flexible working once they have children. Many of our Doers have done the same thing. To have the flexibility to work around sick days, nursery collections and nap times, can be hugely liberating. As I embark on my third maternity leave, I wanted to talk about some of the positives and negatives I’ve experienced.

Two toddlers + pregnant: the positives

More Time

Removing the commute is a game changer.  Not having to rush around in the morning to catch a specific train, frees up so much time.

I’ve swapped the elbows and armpits of strangers on the tube in the morning for the elbows and armpits of my boys in bed!

Before starting The Doers, I would desperately try to shower, do my hair and slap on some makeup before the boys woke up. Then, when they were awake, I was always hurrying them into their clothes, shoes and coats and throwing them out the door. I found myself losing my temper when they didn’t do something as quickly as I needed them to. Telling them off for just being little people because I was panicking about missing my train or running late.

Now that I work from home, I get to enjoy a good hour with my boys before nursery. This time is like gold dust. Sleepy, just-woken-up cuddles, biscuits and stories in bed are now our norm. It’s quality time that I wasn’t getting before!

I do not miss that panicked rush out of the door whilst constantly checking for train updates!

Making the most of our evenings

The same is true at the end of the day. I schedule in chores as breaks throughout my working day to get me up and away from my desk.

It sounds boring but actually being able to get the washing done with no toddlers to pull it off the rack, or prepping dinner whilst listening to a podcast has given me a better life balance and also gives me time to broaden my mind.

By getting the life admin out the way in the day, when I pick the boys up from nursery they have my full attention. I no longer nervously glance at what we’re supposed to be eating for dinner, whilst looking at the clock and listening to my stomach rumble. We talk about their days, we build train tracks, we sing, we dance and I like to think of it as my golden hour.  

I’m in charge

Working for myself has meant that on the days I’m feeling good, I can really push myself. And on the days I don’t feel so good, I’m totally ok with taking it easy. No guilt, no one to apologise to. I’m wholly accountable for myself. 

This definitely took a lot of adjusting to and I’m only just starting to relax into it six months in!

When I was pregnant with the boys I had to go to the office and ‘I’m feeling very pregnant today’ was not really a valid excuse to take a day off! The number of days I dragged myself across London on a commute which involved a train, a tube and a bus, when I felt like shit, were high! I remember stopping to be sick in various side streets and having to sit down on random park benches. All this before I’d even got to the office! When I finally got there I was so drained I couldn’t really achieve a lot. 

Now I can slow down when I need to and push when I’m able to. And the result – I’m twice as productive with my work!

My maternity has been creeping ever closer and instead of feeling utterly exhausted, burnt-out and in a desperate need to finish, I’ve been able to wind-down slowly, at my own pace. I don’t feel anywhere near as exhausted as I did in those last few weeks previously, despite having two demanding little people to look after. All of this is down to having a better work-life balance and most importantly, I’m really enjoying what I’m doing.

Satisfaction

One of my main reasons for starting The Doers was to build something from scratch and create something that my kids would be proud of and inspired by. We’re now six months in and we’ve only really just got The Doers off the ground but this is already very apparent.

I’ve got a new-found buzz for what I do. I’m excited when I start work in the morning and, as Jess can attest to, I’m often reluctant to stop. I’m hoping that this satisfaction and buzz continues after Bud 3 is born. Using my brain to think of things other than feeding, nappies and sleep, certainly helped last time so here’s hoping it continues!

Learning

Stepping outside of my comfort zone and working for myself has been a quick fire way of learning – a lot! I’ve had to do so many things that I wouldn’t have had to do if I’d continued working within in a company.

Just because you work for yourself, doesn’t mean your learning should or will stop

From finances - VAT and tax returns, invoicing, finding a good accountant (when you find one it’s like magic, never let them go!), PAYE, pensions and dividends. This whole world of numbers and calculations has been brand spanking new to me.

To becoming more digitally focused. There was always a team who looked after this wherever I worked, so it’s been a whole new experience. I’ve learnt (the basics) of how to make a website, how to publish a blog post and a newsletter. Before I’d only ever written copy for them. Understanding how it all works, puts a whole new perspective on the copy I’m writing.

I feel like learning new skillsets has got my brain pumping again.

Community

Before I started working for myself I had no idea about the amazing freelance community out there! I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of people I’ve met, either in person or online, who have also taken the plunge and are working for themselves and doing a bloody good job of it!

I’ve also loved immersing myself in the concept of community over competition - something the freelance community has embraced beautifully. Getting in touch to chat over coffee, sharing experiences, sharing work and leads and ways of working – it’s been eye opening in so many ways!

I have to do a little shout out for some of them in particular – Jess and Nat from Mac&Moore, Claudia from Clo PR, Tause from Victoria Page Communications, Becks Perfect from Love The Re-Vision and Kate Baxter aka Fabric of my Life to name a few!   

Two toddlers + pregnant: the negatives

Finances

Planning finances and kicking off working for yourself, isn’t easy! Babies/children/nurseries aren’t cheap and not having a confirmed income every month can be very daunting.

I manically check our QuickBooks account and online banking several times a day to see if a client has paid us and have become acutely aware of how poorly many self-employed, small biz folk are treated when it comes to timely payment. It is undoubtedly one of the biggest struggles for freelancers. Full disclosure, I was totally guilty of this when I worked in agency and in-house. I’d never really appreciated what paying an invoice after the due date meant to the freelancers we worked with, perhaps naively. I hadn’t understood the consequences of not having a regular salary and a set pay-day. All too often invoices would get lost between being printed, signed and given to finance.

Now I’m on the other side of it, I’m quickly realising that in order to get by with unpredictable pay dates and late payments you really need to have some savings behind you, or the stability of a partners income to cover the all important rent/mortgage. No wonder it’s a struggle for young talent to come through and make working for themselves a reality.

If you have childcare bills to pay then do keep this in mind and make sure you’re not wholly reliant on client invoices being paid on time in order for you to pay your childcare provider on time. Try to have a month or two if you can in reserve to ease the pain.

Networking

Being pregnant and already having two children has seriously taken its toll on my ability to network. I’m either feeling too exhausted to do evening events, or even when I feel up to it, it’s a struggle to get there in time if I’m waiting for David to get home to takeover bed and bath time duties.

I’ve also struggled with my confidence in this area, both physically and mentally. Something inside my head seems to be telling me that I won’t be taken as seriously in a new business meeting with bump on show. The stereotypical, patriarchal system is so embedded in me that I’m convinced people won’t be able to see beyond the bump – the ‘she’s not going to be around for long’ mentality.

My inner critic

It’s something I’m working on and interestingly this ‘inner critic’ and ‘impostor syndrome’ has come up time and time again in my short stint working for myself.

I first came across the term ‘Inner critic’ when reading ‘Playing Big’ by Tara Mohr. This sums it up nicely:

“We’ll begin by talking about what most fundamentally gets in the way of women playing big. It’s the voice of self-doubt, of “not me” – the voice inside that is sure you aren’t the one to lead, to write the book, to take on that bigger role, to speak up in the meeting. It’s the voice that tells you that you aren’t qualified enough, smart enough, experienced enough, good-at-x-enough…to ever play big”.

I have to constantly remind myself that I do have value to add, that I do deserve my seat at the table. Just because I’m pregnant and a mum of two doesn’t mean I’m useless.

Maternity pay

Oh how simple it was when employed! I just got my MATB1 form from my midwife, sent it off to HR and hey presto the money rolled in each month.

This time it was much more complicated! I didn’t qualify for maternity pay through The Doers as I hadn’t been “employed” for long enough. This meant I had to do my own application for maternity allowance. This involved a lengthy form and trawling back through lots of payslips, some dating back almost two years.

Luckily for me, my husband David is a finance and form whizz and did most of the heavy lifting, but it’s certainly something to think about. Thankfully I qualified and will be getting a maternity allowance which is exactly the same amount as I got in my old job, minus the first six weeks at 90% so not too much of a financial adjustment.

Switching off

It is so hard to switch off from your own business. The fact it’s ‘yours’, intrinsically makes it hard to step away from.

In some ways this can be a good thing. It means I have ideas of things to do, things to write and things to suggest to clients any day of the week at any time. I hear things on the radio or on a podcast or see something when I’m out and about which will spark something and I just have to write it down or email it to myself.

I’m switched-on to the business because I enjoy it and it gives me a buzz and I love how inspiration can spring up from anywhere.

But it can also mean it’s really, really hard to give yourself a break.

As I write this on my wind-down to maternity leave I’m already struggling. I know I need to switch-off. I know I need to put my feet up and give myself time to tune in to my new baby. But I’m also in a good rhythm of working, writing, keeping on top of things and using my organisational skills to keep everything running and that’s hard to step back from.

Trust

The most important thing to help with walking away and taking time out, is to have people working alongside that you trust.

Working for yourself = you do everything. It can take a lot to hand things over and trust that someone else will do it, that they’ll do it well and let you have a much needed break.

This whole adventure started because Jess trusted me to help her grow her vision. In turn I trust her explicitly to continue doing an amazing job whilst I take some time off to get to recover and get to know my baby.

Without trust and without a network of people around you to lift you up it’s all too easy to feel lost and to burn-out. This is one of the reasons we started The Doers. To build a collective of freelancers who support each other and work hard to deliver fantastic results.

The Verdict…

Working for myself through this pregnancy really has been a positive experience. I’ve learnt so much about myself and what I’m capable of. I’m now heading into life with baby number three feeling more confident and happy in myself.

If you’re thinking of making a similar leap, whether you already have children, are pregnant or think family is on the agenda very soon then please do get in touch. I didn’t really know anyone who faced a similar situation when I was making my decision. I would’ve loved to talk things through with someone who’d experienced it. So if I can do the same for anyone out there it would make me one happy bunny!